Tables - 23

Sorry for the no show yesterday. Had stomach cramps and felt quite under the weather.So lay around watching daytime TV. I've also had battle s with self doubt over my work..this has been going on for some time and is (when looked at objectively) a symptom of working for day after day alone in my room concentrating on small areas. Pictures completed go into a large plastic bag and live down by the side of my wardrobe. Nobody gets to see them until I get them framed and out to exhibition. the result of this down patch has been I have no major exhibition this year.  I'm off to the Willington Arts Festival in a few weeks for a three day show...then nothing until possibly September.

I think many people find my work awkward and difficult to deal with. I certainly find it difficult to open my heart and discuss what at times are very sensitive issues to me resulting from a difficult childhood.The are times I don't want to be open, but I have a responsibility to the true nature behind my work and to sit and see people just drift by them in a exhibition is almost impossible for me to bear at times.... So if you'll forgive the illogicality of the thought..it's better not to have an exhibition than to continually tell strangers about my mother's alcoholism (which is key to my expression) and why there's yet another frilly knickered Cello girl staring out at the viewer.This is easy when I'm on top of things, but hell when I'm not.

Which brings me to today's post. Yes there were supposed to be two cello girls...yes there was going to be a Cancan dancer and an airman. but after much thought, I've decided to stick with an earlier concept to reduce the area of the picture leaving the central character as the Mad vicar. So this I have done which will mean the piece will be completed sooner. I think (if my nerve permits it) dedicate a picture at a later time to my beloved Cello girls yet again.

Anyway... having said all that, I still have some distance to go with the current drawing. there's a moon up in a darkened sky..and what's going on the floor?....see you tomorrow.