Wednesday, January 05, 2011

White Ladies - 22

I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things after my break...but I thought I probably owed you an explanation as to why I've been silent for so long. i have to check myself with regards to explanations as i'm acutely aware that we artistic types tend to get rather introspective and to be honest, boring when we try to analyze ourselves. So i'll forgive you if you lose interest and find something better to read.

Christmas time was such a mixture of emotions and practical problems for me. One good thing to come out of that time was the completion of  a commission to produce a book cover ( more information at a later date!). But the biggest influence on my time and feelings was the death of my friend Geoff...I mentioned it inn a previous post. The funeral and various gatherings to remember him amongst friends were often happy/sad times....and believe me, there were many.

To add to this, Jan my wife was away working in Singapore..this was the week before Christmas and during the time when the UK experienced an unprecedented amount of snow and ice with temperatures in some parts of the country dipping to minus 24 degrees. Heathrow airport was frozen and flights delayed and cancelled. Would Jan make it back for Christmas? It was touch and go at one point but she eventually made it back the day before Christmas Eve. The arrangements for Christmas were not only touched by the sadness of my friends death, but it was only year ago that Jan's mum had also died. It's not until family based events like Christmas that the absence of a loved one bites deepest. We also shared the sadness a very close friend felt facing her first Christmas with out her father.

I think basically my emotions were all over the place...my thinking was affected and I felt depressed. making artwork seemed the last thing I wanted to do...the more i looked upon what I had already created, the more it took on an air of irrelevance and self indulgent trivia. Long time readers of this blog will know that I often go through periods of self doubt and depression...and usually I pull through in the end.Well good news folks...I'm pulling through. Disillusioned and feeling rather empty I'm back with the pen in my hand and all being well...I'll get this piece finished.

2 comments:

Devil Mood said...

Yes, you will :)

Robin Neudorfer said...

It is at these times that we need our art the most. It might seem trivial, and yet there is meaning in all of it.
Prayers are conveyed, memories are treasured... a form of meditation and cleansing. The work itself might be passed over in time, but the love wrapped up in it won't ever be.

Your friends and family are lucky.
May you be blessed in this New Year.