Finished Rainbow Warrior. Finished exhibition.

Finished - Rainbow Warrior'

47 x 37 cm.

Well...after 7 months I've finally laid down the pens on this one! i'm utterly tired of it. This of course is not unusual...after staring at it, being familiar with almost every dot, I'm ready not to see it for some time. the practise almost always bears out , that when I finish a large piece, it goes away safely where I'm not going to see it. My work over the last few years gets the same treatment..secreted away down at the side of the wardrobe. Having returned to images such as 'Three graces with two headed lamb' 'Lectern' 'Museic' 'Viscount Bubbles' I'm happy to say I'm really satisfied with them now (despite the uneasy nature of their messages)

The swifts are summer visitors here in England...they fly from north Africa each year to breed...they always return to the same nests...they always arrive in the first week of May, and fly back to Africa in August. My Dad used to point them out...he was an incredibly experienced ornithologist who who was a lover of nature. He used tell my brother and I about their journey...the fact that they never land apart from to lay their eggs and incubate them...they eat, mate and sleep in flight.

The above photo and the one below I took using my self timer on the camera. I'm at the gallery in Cromford. Below i've just finished clearing my work out...sweeping the floor and leaving the place the way I found it. I find the end of an exhibition a sad business. I've sat for a week, surrounded by work that had in many cases been the product of deeply emotive issues...if not the subject, the things of life that happened during their creation. I meet people I love...I meet strangers...I have wonderfully amazingly inspiring and encouraging conversations, not to mention the drive home through beautiful Derbyshire countryside. the gallery is with my work in is like my life...my self...the known and the hidden on display. I'm vulnerable, but I'm the master of my work...my expression.

Today I sat...in the peace and quiet, sad for it to be ended, but happy...happy with some special memories...of a very beautiful day yesterday. 

now...what next?

Rainbow Warrior - 46 Day four of exhibition

Progressing well...I thought I might finish today, but it's going be tomorrow now (or Thursday) . I've begun work on the swifts which you can see in the picture below...I love swifts and always look out for their arrival in the first week of May. I want to have a cloud of them flying across the sky behind me...I need to introduce a few more varied poses to break up the uniformity of their flight pattern. 

Below you cans see how the whole composition is working...I quite like the fact that it contains a photorealistic self portrait but stylised other elements.

today I had a nice surprise when a customer bought one of my non-hyperpointillist artworks. A line drawing in Ink,I'd created it for my fist Willington Arts Festival back in 2007 (I think). It was sold to someone I didn't know. always a good feeling to sell an original! :)

During this afternoon it rain a little, a visitor to my exhibition told me that there was a lovely Rainbow...so since I was working on Rainbow Warrior, AND I was wearing the jumper featured in that picture I snapped a couple of shots. I love rainbows (especially in one of my 'happy places')..that's why I'm grinning like an idiot!

Rainbow Warrior - 45 (nearly finished!)

 Apart from the cold, I really enjoyed my time at the day three of my exhibition in Cromford.I only had 33 visitors during the day, so this afforded me the opportunity to spend a good chunk of time working. I made a practice version of the figure you see here. (She is carrying the Moon )....before I felt able to work on the final version on the actual drawing. As the second to last piece of the composition, it was import and I didn't make a mess of it at this stage. Tomorrow I may very well finish....my final addition to the picture is a wavy flight of swifts in the sky....snaking their way from left to right. I'm really looking forward to doing that, as it's been an element I've planned from the very beginning, and will bring this project to an end.

Rainbow Warrior - 44. Cromford Exhibition day 2

 I had an interesting day at my exhibition...I've been learning some lessons too. The last time I exhibited at the Arkwright mills gallery in April, it was the most financially successful exhibition i've ever had...and was guilty expecting this one to get off to the same start as the last one did...how wrong I was....and therein lies the lesson. I never take for granted the uniqueness of my gift/ talent...and although I have a pressing need to earn money like never before, I still have to bring myself back to the main point of why I do what I do. The simple reason is that how can I not?....It is a deep need...an aching need at times to create images that express what, who and why I am...the things I have to say, the observations I make about myself and the world I try to make sense of. The fundamentally makes me happy and fulfilled. Showing my work and connecting with other humans is a big part in the whole process and knowing that having seen my work and how I work, many many individuals leave with a more enlightened view of art..themselves and the world around them makes me incredibly happy and humble. It might seem a little false to say that financial benefit is a nice bonus in that process...but recieving the fruits of my labour in financial terms is also a big part of what I do.

Sadly this element is often and usually the last to be forthcoming. So today it was very good to reach the amount of earnings that means the gallery hire is now accounted for.Excellent!

Here is the current state of Rainbow Warrior...I've worked well on it today and all being well, I should finish it this week! (apologies for the rather yellow tone of the photos, this was the reaction of my camera to the fluorescent lighting)

Rainbow Warrior - 21 Exhibition day 9 ( the last day)

I'm not a fan of last days of exhibitions...whilst I really should be feeling elated by the success of the week, the reality is that i'm tired, and in need of extended sleep. In the past I've found the return to my usual routine difficult...previously I worked entirely in isolation, hardly ever seeing friends and growing ever more unsocial, becoming depressed, drinking too much and generally being a high blood pressured grumpy so and so made me very difficult to live with...even I found myself unbearable to live with! ...of course, i'm a very different person these days!!

Tonight, i'm just tired...tomorrow, after a well deserved lie in, I've got to drive back to the gallery to take my work down, I've also planned to resume my usual running route. I've got to select work for next weekend when my work will be for sale at a pop up gallery in the Park Farm shopping centre in Allestree,  Derby. I also have to plan for the Willington Art festival in a few weeks...I need to create a new series on minipix to sell.

As I've mentioned many times before during this week, I'm very grateful for all the support shown by friends and relatives in the run up and during my exhibition. For those who've purchased my work and those who've commissioned me to produce future artwork. I feel incredibly fortunate to know so many wonderful people...a big thank you if you came to see me.. :)

Exhibition day 8!

Returning to the exhibition circuit has been a big deal for me...to find myself planning, organising, setting up, running and selling the public show of my work has been all my own work..... but actually has it really? To be honest, a lot of it was, but the thing that has made everything function well has been the love and support of a few dear and valued friends who probably don't realise the impact they have made on me, and the support I have felt...not all of these people have been to my show, but for those who have made the journey, given the right words...sat, knitted, drank tea with me, listened to my stories  and made me smile, and even in a couple of instances made me cry! (in a good way!) your love, presence and encouragement has helped confirm in my mind that i'm doing the right thing, that my talent and my gifting is being put to good use!

I'll probably be more effusive tomorrow when I finish my week and my show, but for now, a big big thank you to those who have attended...you're like gold!

Rainbow Warrior - 20. Exhibition day 7

I honestly can't believe it's been a whole week since I initially set up for my show in Cromford. I'm feeling pretty tired now having talked so much. Don't get me wrong, meeting people, talking about what I do ...why I do it is fun...I get to meet so many diverse people. for instance today almost immediately as I arrived to open the gallery at 10 am I was introduced to twelve Malaysian engineers! Wonderful people who all queued up to have their photos taken with me...one man even asked me for my autograph! Then I was 'invaded' by eight gorgeous French women! Was turning into a very international day by lunchtime!

 

One thing that is a constant are the amount of families with young children...I love to demonstrate what i'm working on and show people the technique I use, which you'll be surprised to learn is not always understood by those who wander in, have a look and wander back out again. Children on the other hand are inquisitive, and whilst their parents hover at a distance, they come in close to have a look and ask questions. Parents will then follow...I love seeing their eyes widen as I tell of my experiences and stories! 

 

I'm also struck by people's understanding and concept of what an artist is. On the BBC at the moment is a series called something like 'so what do artists do all day?'...I watched one episode last night which featured Jack Vetriano... very enlightening! I think people often gain their understanding from school art history lessons or else Hollywood bio-pics featuring Kirk Douglas as Renoir...or else they think an artist is a sort of airheaded dreamer who has wafted through life in a whimsical ignorance of what real work is all about.( that is actually probably true in some cases!)...( but not me obviously!!!)..they look a little shocked when they ask how I price my work and include the fact that it's been responsible for where I find myself in life at the moment ( see yesterday for more explanation!)

 

So...one week...one fantastic week! and still two more days to go. I've sold more than any other exhibition I've done and will hopefully sell more over what promise to be two very busy days. See you tomorrow with more !

Rainbow Warrior - 19 Exhibition day 6.

It's all looking a little wishy washy around the star at the moment...but fear not...I know what i'm doing! I initially thought it would be a fairly easy matter to create the star...but looking closer, I realised that I need to convey the impression of the actual stitches...that's what creates the texture of the garment. I also of course need to be available to talk to visitors to my exhibition, so long periods of concentration are not readily available! No worry!

I continue to feel quite overwhelmed, I'm not used to my work being in demand. I really should get used to it. Being the only practitioner of full colour Hyperpointillist work in the UK, I might very well find my work being sought after. I think having gone through so much in my life having lost my health, my wife and nearly losing my mind as a result of my work, has added  something to which people can identify with...I'm not purely a novelty act. My work is coming from a man who's had/ having a life and had come through some difficult and challenging times.....fairly intact and peaceful in his skin.

Today I sold a few pieces. Well established and high earning artists will probably laugh at my relatively small earnings, but I'm chuffed to bits, it's been my most successful exhibition ever!...and having to potentially face relying on what I can earn solely for my own existence is challenging ...but that's for the future. I'm trying to live day by day at the moment. Trusting in my god for all that I have.

Rainbow Warrior - 18 Exhibition day 5

Very quiet day at the gallery. And the first day where I didn't sell anything. Still, found plenty of time for dotting! moved onto the coloured star on the front of my jumper.

Now speak to any exhibiting artist and you'll tails of the "I'll be back later in the week" guy. Someone who shows incredibly enthusiastic attention to your work but is in a hurry, so will come back later in the week  giving you the impression that he/she intends to but I'm always excited and fall for the same old story only to be disappointed when they don't show up. today I had a man who showed similar enthusiasm, but stated he was a supplier of goods to some of the shops in the area...as he left he told me he'd be back later in the week...then he said an odd thing. He recommended that I double the prices on all my work!...curious...this was after he learned that I'm the only practitioner of full colour Hyperpointillist works in the country! again i'm not expecting anything, but I have been praying for the right person to come along who can help me marketing my work!

I'll let you know what if anything happens with this chap...but don't hold your breath!

Rainbow Warrior - 17 - Exhibition day 4.

I tried to encapsulate the theme of today...not sure what it was really. I had a lot fewer visitors through the door...now please don't misunderstand me, bodies through the door doesn't equate to the amount of  sales...usually I find more sales are made when times are quiet. Much to a certain person's annoyance, I still state that 'the money' is not the most important part of me exhibiting my work. Of course it is important in the scheme of family life and taking my responsibility to providing for my family....and we do have an overdraft the size of a small country ( bit of an exaggeration there !) but times are very tough for us. My aim is to share my passion for my work and it's process, and to enable visitors at my show to enjoy seeing my work in a comfortable non pressurised environment with good lighting and nice music...and I aim to answer all questions as if it's the first time I'm hearing it...Questions like: " I bet you have to have a lot of patience?" ..."how long does it take you to do one picture?"...." how many dots are in a picture?"..."do you suffer from repetitive strain injuries?"..."where do you get your ideas from?" ..."What got you started with the dotting?" etc.....The result this week is that I've earned more in the first three days of this exhibition than I've ever done in any of the previous ones. I'm feeling really blessed!

Of course the lower visitor numbers meant that I could spend a little more time working on my picture. Slowly extending the dark of the jumper down to where it meets the star pattern. hopefully I'll start work on the star tomorrow.

Rainbow Warrior 15...Exhibition day 2

I'm not being melodramatic today when I state that I'm feeling a little overwhelmed...sold more work today....and met some lovely people including my old school pal Richard.( We sat next to each other on our first day at school back in 1967.) I've never sold so much work in such a short time. Quite amazing!

Was funny at one point...there were about 9 people in the gallery quietly viewing, when the string across the back of one of the pictures snapped...as it fell, the picture dislodged two others. A massive crash ensued which funnily enough didn't damage the pictures...the glass remained intact....can't say the same for the nerves of the visitors though! hehe.

But seriously ...I've gone through quiet a lot of turmoil preparing this exhibition...what to and what not to display...in the end I've decided to stand by what I have, what I've created. It's part of and is me. :)

Cromford exhibition - Day 0ne.

 Hello...it's me again...the artistic version of Woody Allen...no, that's harsh..I'm not all neuroses...I'm a gentle kind thoughtful caring sensitive if a little gullible and timid individual. but I'm learning...and a wise friend told me today that the last thing I need to do is pretend that I'm anything other than what i am...and she was right...I'm a really nice chap actually! It's true that I've been through a whole heap of life changing stuff/ still going through life changing stuff. Had my heart utterly broken...had my health almost broken, had my mind shrivelled in the darkness...and if I'd thought of trying, I'd have got a degree in melodrama and overstatement! ...but seriously folks, how could I deny the work I've produced that has lead me up to this point in my life?...even if it's not what one might expect 'decent folk' to approve of.

When you look back one day and see how my work has developed, you'll see why it is relevant to consider the products of the last few years...anyway dear reader, today was day one of my 9 days in Cromford. see above and below me sitting at my desk working on 'Rainbow Warrior'!

Today, I decided to hang 3 of my my recent pictures...perhaps you remember

'Cello'...'Quintadagio' and 'Orbits'?....

 

I also took along 9 of my most recent pieces ( see below ) which remain unframed...but like i said...part of the story of my life.....and guess what?...I actually sold lots of work! I'd managed to recoup the hire charge of the gallery by lunch time and went on sell a good deal more thereafter. Was wonderful to see dear friends and complete strangers who were an absolute blessing of encouragement and support turn up throughout the day.

 

I feel a whole lot better about things now...I guess really it's difficult to describe to someone who doesn't use visual art as a form of expression and rely on it for their living... If you'll forgive me for falling back on my imaginary degree in over statement and melodrama?...It's can best be described as putting the deepest secrets of your heart and soul on a wall for the public to see. It really is...and the approval or rejection of the viewer is in their mind that of ink , paper and an artists imagination. but to me it's the very essence of my life's experience and expression...the reason i am who i am. Yes folks!...It's that vital...it's that important to me.

 

 Here I am lord!....and I can be nothing else.

Exhibition set up.

These photos show the pictures as I hung them...I've yet to make them all hang evenly and put labels including prices underneath each one. when i began this blog I said that I'd write about the ins and out of being an artist...the highs and lows...well they're all there today. because what I write today may change tomorrow, you'll have to accept that this is a cathartic experience ...writing...but you'll get a better understanding of me as an artist...as a 51 year old finding that all he's known for the past 30 odd years has been challenged and turned on it's head...as a man who has lost his faith, and then found his faith...as a Man /Artist/ Christian finding himself rethinking the way he expresses himself....

I felt very peaceful about preparing for this exhibition...when ever I feel peaceful about anything, something tries to unsettle it. Wednesday, I collected the hire car to take my son to Bristol for his university interview. I really dislike long journeys...my American/ Indian...in fact any of my non British friends will laugh when I describe my definition of a long journey...Bristol is 147  miles from where I live...one and a half hours drive to be there at 2:30  pm...so I though to be on the safe side, I'd leave an hour early to leave room for delays. 40 miles into the journey just outside Birmingham we hit a traffic jam....'road works'...I knew we might be in for a delay...i had no idea how long that delay would be. We managed to travel only three miles in three hours! so after calling the uni a few times...we decided it would be better to re arrange the interview for another day...turn round and head home.

Not a great day you'll be surprised to hear...but I was able to spend some time with my youngest son with whom i've found it difficult at time to relate to...we were both sharing an experience which helped us to bond...we talked...laughed and i suppose in retrospect, it was a very valuable time for us.Shame we had to do it in a traffic jam...but sometimes those experiences are only possible in a shared adversity!

I thought I'd done really well...I was proud of the way I handled the situation...sorting the car out...buying the correct fuel...insurance etc...But it was tired, slightly irritable and still with a stack of things to do to prepare for the exhibition. I sorted the work that needed doing the next day and sat back looking forward to my wife returning from her mini holiday which she and my daughter had decided to go on.

I quickly found that my exploits were not well received...I'd bought extended insurance for my own peace of mind...which apparently I didn't need...I'd bought a full tank of petrol of which only a quarter was used. We have a spectacularly downward financial situation...well into the overdraft, we are just about broke, and I made it worse...and boy wasn't I told in no uncertainty! so I trailed off to my bed slightly broken...tired and full of anticipation of the oncoming day when I'd hang my work for the first time in three years.

Arriving at the gallery, I unpacked the work i'd decided to bring along. Now I had a bit of a dilemma...still have a dilemma...all the work that i've created over the past six or seven years has leaned to my darker imagination..working out the experiences of an often painful childhood weaving deeply personal themes of religion and sexuality. i think to the casual observer I must seem like some sort of pervert....fetishist....and this to be honest troubles me now. Now that i've given my life back to God, I want to think on things that are good and wholesome...encouraging and Holy. But the work that remains now back home...some of it framed, most of it not framed mainly due to the fact I've made hardly any money in the last three years...I cannot afford to have it framed anyway. but despite the subject matter...is work that i am most proud of...it is that which is created as a true and expressive release of my often deeply hidden thoughts .It's also very not what 'decent church people will be happy seeing.....oh what am i saying?....I must be going soft or something!

 So that brings me to today...an exhibition i'm deeply unsatisfied with putting my artistic stamp to...it tells only half the story of me...and is a feeble attempt to satisfy as many people and upset as few as possible.

I think i know the answer as i'm typing to be honest...I think i hear what you're saying to the quietness of your glowing screen. Art has never been about settling for comfort...art has never been a cushion to delicate sensibilities...

What will i do? What would you do?

 

to find out...Tune in tomorrow...same Bat time...same Bat channel!

 

I sound like a right mess don't I?...

 

i'm off to bed,,,it'll all look better in the morning.

Putting the exhibition up. Cromford - Day 1

Well...here we go again...and this time I'm making things difficult for myself. I've ended up shedding tears twice already today as I've explained some of the background to my work to one person and chatted with a lovely woman who's Mum had died a few months ago. It lead me to thinking that 'Art'...is part of 'He'art'...it dwells with passion, emmotion. To this end I've included for the very first time all my most symbolic and complex images including some never seen in public before (see below)
The two pictures on the right are freshly framed for the very first time since they were created back in 1987 (it think it was)

Tomorrow i'm hoping to post some video of the exhibition..I've never tried that before...it might fail magnificently....stay tuned ! See you tomorrow!