Spoonful - 10

Began work on the second Cello girl today...added more back ground too. shadows to the nurses hand and  spoon need further attention. I know I've been negative recently..I'm feeling a bit lost to be honest. but I still have the need and the urge ( they're the same surely?) to create..and I'd really like to see this one out...so I can start the next one!

Looking back - looking forward.

I hope by now, you've had an enjoyable Christmas....if indeed you even celebrate it where you live. It's funny, but as a child I thought the whole world stopped for Christmas...but I guess somewhere there lives a counterpart me who believes the whole world stops for Eid, or Diwali...I'm digressing....I'm supposing that you have approached the end of this year with a modicum of satisfaction and anticipation for what is to come in 2012.
In time honoured tradition I'm looking back over my year...Last January I was still reeling from the death of my close friend Geoff...Geoff had been a good and encouraging friend who felt strongly that I should use my art to earn money whilst developing  my style and skill. We were in discussions about an exciting project when his illness took hold ...I will never know what might have been. Around the same time I had also found an opportunity to create the cover for a novel which  was thought would become a best seller. I created the artwork and was told it was perfect. However upon publication, I discovered my artwork had been dropped..I'd not had any notification of this, so I felt very upset...and you guessed it, the book went on to become a bestseller!To this day I have no idea why my work was deemed unsuitable.
I knew that to continue I needed to find some encouragement, but I found none. I've continued to produce artwork which moves from my drawing table straight to storage besides the wardrobe never to be seen again. From my many previous exhibitions, I leaned that what people wanted was my black and white surreal erotic work...not the pretty trees and landscapes which to be honest you can get anywhere. But to begin again to have my work reproduced for the print market is prohibitive to the point of silliness.
The burden of financial problems is alleviated by the fact that Jan's work is progressively more involved , and requires frequent overseas trips...it pays the bills though. My time is however not waisted as I see it as my duty to enable her to do this. But this detracts from the work I do.
To this end. and the unavailability of  the work people want. I've cancelled all exhibitions and given up seeking bookings for any more...I have nothing to sell that people want and it's too complicated and expensive to get what I do have, photographed and printed.
I feel very heavy of heart creatively because I have no shortage of ideas...I do however lack to freedom to produce work which will sell...I cannot dedicate my time to exhibiting.
Perhaps one day it will change...perhaps by this time next year I'll have a better outlook...perhaps.
I shall continue to work...I shall continue to run..( I'm hoping to reach half marathon standard this year).I shall coninue...
May I take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very peaceful and very very hopeful New Year!

Spoonful - 10

Having given up on the exhibition scene, I am lacking the contact with the public who are actually instrumental in inspiration and solidifying my resolve to produce the kind of work i enjoy. Therefore I'm finding it difficult to feel confident in what I do...my motivation is lacking and it's rare that I am able to actually achieve the 5 - 6 hours a day I aim to work for. Never the less...I still have my vision for this piece, and I'm ready to move onto the next stage. Today I was content to lay down a little of the back ground shades, which are light and even, leaving potential for additional clouds and birds as I see fit. There will also be stars and planets in the sky!

The next big factor is to add in the other four cello girls who will be standing in the line! 

Spoonful - 9

An artist is always alone - if he is an artist. No, what the artist needs is loneliness.
Henry Miller

Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_art.html#ixzz1gkLry6n3

Spoonful - 8

you're very patient...but it's something you have to get used to...my sporadic posting is symptomatic of  my current low point concerning motivation ...I'm sorry, but at least today I was back in the groove..it's not a matter of not knowing what I'm doing...I know where this piece is going and what comes next...I hope you'll continue to keep up to date with my posts and let me know what you think.

Spoonful - 7

I had an interesting experience today. We were out doing the weekly shop in a large Sainsbury's supermarket ...the checkouts were packed and the shop was very busy when the fire alarm went off...staff ushered everyone ( there must have been 100 plus) out into the car park where we waited. It was odd looking into the shop seeing everything abandoned as if everyone had just walked out..which ermm...they had. We were all allowed back in soon after as it had been a false alarm...thankfully. you know, I even heard a few complaining along the lines of " all that for it only to be a false alarm!"...I just smiled and thought, if had been a real fire, we'd not have been allowed to finish our shopping...some people eh?

Spoonful - 6

Don't have a coronary..yes...it's me again...that's right...two days on the run...and speaking of running, I've now run my second run this week after my mammoth November run which totalled 111.58 miles. I'm going to take it easy over December ...!

Today's work centred around the little boy....I made a few small alterations to his face too...so I'm happy with the way it's now developing....I think you're going to have fun working out what it's all about...any ideas?

Spoonful - 5

Hello...remember me? ...I'm the person that used to post progress on strange pieces of artwork slowly developing each day before your very eyes. Well I've not done that for a while...I'm not very good at it at the moment....I find life and art difficult. I've sat almost every day looking at my work, wondering what to do...but today I knew what to do. I'm not sure I've done it very well...and it might be that I'll scrap it tomorrow...but for now it will be as it is before you now. I've put my very young self in the picture yet again...surrounded by thorns...when I showed this to Jan she remarked that i looked as if I was trapped...this was not my intention...the thorns surrounding me, the Nurse..the Cello girl are my way of saying these memories...ideas...influences are mine...you're not allowed to touch them or alter them ...they protect me and my dreams...fantasies and fascinations....but I'm allowing you to observe from outside...at some point, one of the characters yet to be included will look out to you and invite comment...attitude...judgement...but until then...you are only an observer...a guest in the 'canyons of my mind' !