Sketches and ideas...concepts and compositions.

 People are often surprised when I show the rough workings of my sketch book...I have a large number of books stretching back 30 years or so and they're all full of working ideas..I will never have the life time to convert them all to finished pieces unless I drop my obsession with dotting.,...which i'm not about to!!! I like to scribble compositions which take the form of blocked areas and basic shapes. My mind does the most work imagining what they represent. then i develop sketches which are chosen for possible inclusion in a picture. The chap below on the left is one of my Vicar ideas and he was originally proposed to be part of the 'white Ladies' piece. I developed the sketch up to a good standard...but i'm continually drawn back to him.

Whilst thinking of ideas for compositions in which he could exist, i came upon photos of church lecterns..(see above) and thought it would be good to have him standing menacingly behind one.I then decided that the Eagle which traditionally represents St. John for my purposes become a crow which symbolically means so many different things to different cultures...for some good, some bad. i wanted to emphasis the often many ways 'religion' is perceived by communities.

Above right the vicar is seen to be standing with his foot on a Neanderthal skull...it could easily be an ape skull...I wanted to comment on the arrogance that some sectors of religious groups view with so called certainty the 'facts' about creation versus evolution or anthing really. The vicar then reveals unwittingly that he has hidden secrets ..in this case he's wearing stockings, suspenders and spiked stiletto boots...this represents the hypocrisy that many so called 'holy' people live by preferring to hide their shame beneath whitened robes....i'm getting a bit heavy now, but I hope you know what i mean?!

As ever, my gorgeous cello girls represent the deeper workings of my mind and the ever present balance between realisation and danger...truth to self and guilt. this all links together nicely with the religious connotations and works very well with the life experiences I have had. I also have wondered about including the little boy figure ( that's me!) who innocently looks up at the preacher, not questioning..is he a victim ?...is he to become a perpetrator one day?

Which ever way you look at it, the actual composition is all important, getting the balance of the figures, and making it possible to show the feet of the vicar and the boy whilst having the cello girls in the foreground. Add plenty of delicious frilly bits, little symbolic motifs and enigmatic faces and there is the start of an interesting project.Trains, planes and skies..stars, planets, birds and flowers will all be considered at a much later date.

I hope you now have a little better understanding of the workings of my mind whilst I consider inclusions for my work...I used to add the letter S.I.A.T at the bottom of my work. this was my pretentious attempt to ape the Pre Raphaelite Brother hood who used to sign their work with 'PRB'. Mine used to stand for 'Symbolism in All things'....whilst i no longer include those letters..the sentiment remains solid for all my work. I  like to have reasons for all aspects of my compositions...and consider it as an equally important factor along with the aesthetics and draughtsmanship. 

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The sky is more or less finished now...the lighting for this photo isn't good because it makes the left side appear much darker the the right. But i'm fairly happy with it..the right sense of foreboding and menace is coming through. tomorrow I shall take the day off...at least as far as this picture goes...I shall work on sketches for the new picture which so far has three of four major ideas vying for attention.Maybe i'll publish a few, but then maybe I won't. either way...this picture is rapidly approaching it's finishing period. Next week should see it done!

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 I'm coming to the final stages of work on the the sky now.I've worked on the planets and at the end of today's session, I'd completed most of the large planet on the far left of the scene...you can see a lighter area upon which I still have to work....some of the planets you'll probably notice are lighter than others...this is something I will go back to and equalise when they are all finished.

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I've managed to work well again today. This is good in itself, but other things have gone well too. I'm planning a party for my birthday in November and ideally (as readers here will know!) I wanted a troop of Cancan dancers. Well thanks to a friend who suggested them, i've just had confirmation that the Vanessa Millar School Of Dancing from Belper in Derbyshire can dance for me! The next good thing was a good friend of the family advertised on Facebook a two seater sofa for sale...we've been looking to replace a sofa too, so tonight we went and managed to fit it into the back of our car (albeit with a certain amount hanging out of the back!). So all in all a good end to the day I would say!

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I wrote yesterday about my working hours and my aims to have pen on paper for 5 - 6 hours each day. Yes, this is something I'm able to do  because above all else, I have the opportunity to do so. It's a situation that I am incredibly privileged to enjoy whilst at the same time causes deep frustration knowing that I'm not the one 'out there' being the bread winner and provider for my family. Of course that role is fulfilled by my wife Jan who is pursuing a job she enjoys greatly and has the added bonus of paying the bills.

My children are growing up, one of whom now lives away from home whilst studying at university. My other son is nearly 16 and my daughter is 10...so they're past the time of needing 100% attention.Of course this leads to other related problems when Jan is away working,( which is fairly often and becoming more so) I think I've written about what happens then enough times! I'm prone to bouts of depression and I have fairly low confidence in the commercial side of my work.So this I battle and when things are good...I work to jmy hearts content within the boundaries of child care and running a home. Currently I'm enjoying my work.

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 Thank you for the kind comments! I seem to have hit a bit of a groove work wise at the moment..my aim is to spend between 5 - 6 hours each day dotting and the remaining time to sketching/research and blog stuff. I've been no where near this aim recently, but now I'm pushing on quite well regularly hitting my targets each day. The main reason is the development of ideas and images for new work....nothing spurs me on more than the impatience to start a new piece!! I'm therefore spending time on a couple of drawings for new compositions which excite me and fulfill all the goals and concepts I strive to realise....watch this space!

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From now on, I shall always feature a full photo of the entire picture as well as focusing on the work of the day. Quite a few people have suggested a time lapse animation showing the process from beginning to end. My technical abilities don't reach that far, but if someone knows how to do it, I'd be glad to let you have a go!

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Been off doing my other little job of role playing today so have not had the time to work my usual hours. However, work on the planets continues ...expect plenty more...!

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We have planets!

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Have begun work on the sky...detail on engine steam to be added later.Adjustments to skin tones/shadows also at a later date.

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I've had some absolutely wonderful comments about my work over the past few days.I've been through ( as most artists do) a period of self doubt and lack of motivation, so to have the encouragement of readers here has meant the earth to me. I know what I'm producing is probably not technically my best work, but the issues I'm addressing come from a depth of emotion and this means making myself vulnerable.

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It's my photograph that's sloping not the train! I'm enjoying work on this today...it's not as quick as I'd hope because of the research and attention to the carriages...I can't wait to work on the sky which will alter entire atmosphere and bring out the lightness of the tennis girls.

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Just passed 100 hours work on this piece. Slow going, but I still have a vision for the finished work! I find life in general tiresome and frustrating.

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Work continues on the train...you know, you wouldn't believe the level of attention a picture of a locomotive receives at an exhibition. Some railway enthusiasts will spend more time examining the pistons, brake pipes etc than my lovely ladies!! So I have to take great pains to make sure I try to get things right.

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At last I can begin work on the background. Here you can see one of my other recurring themes...A Black five British Rail steam engine of the sort manufactured in my home town!

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OK...so wonky legs happen...it actually didn't jump out at me until DM mentioned it...I've tried to alter it a little, but I've decided to leave it. It's funny, because for some unconscious reason, a lot of the women I draw are fairly slim...(although I like good womanly hips!) but I love women of all sizes and shapes...I think I should produce work showing more 'Rubenesque' females ?

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You're right DM..the wonky leg is funny...but it's not intentional, it's my lack of skill. I shall rectify it. I can't believe how awful it is !

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Thank you Julie and DM for your encouragement.You know, I think I might actually be going mad...imagine that !...how good it will be for you to tell others you're friends with a genuine 'Mad artist'?....I'm not averse to the idea but I draw the line at any amputations no matter how small!

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I feel I must make two apologies..the first with regards to my comments yesterday..it does sound as if i'm blaming my wife for the thwarting of my aspirations and ambitions...i'm not. I willingly give my time to supporting her. the second is to apologise to you dear reader that you have to gaze upon my awful deranged imaginings which have no place in today's art world...I like what I do...I hate what i do..but my dreams and my achievements are a million miles apart. Please try to reserve judgment until I finish this piece...it has far to go...as I'm sure some would wish I would do also.

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What can I say...I'm finding work incredibly hard at the moment...it's an act of effort to set aside the time to draw. I'm finding planning my time for exhibitions difficult. the main reason for this is that my wife works in professional acting and is increasingly called to work abroad...sometimes at relatively short notice..I can't plan to be away because there is child care at home to consider.So I often feel trapped...and an important part of my artistic and creative process which is actually showing my work and meeting people is very thin on the ground. so I tend therefore to develop self doubt and lack of confidence surrounding the reason and meaning to what I do.

I'm already committed to one exhibition this year at Willington...there are others I could apply for, But I feel it's vitally important to let you know that it's what I consider my job to support Jan in doing what she wants so that she might realise her dreams and aims.i'm here to make it easier for her and to look after the kids whilst she is away.

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I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things after my break...but I thought I probably owed you an explanation as to why I've been silent for so long. i have to check myself with regards to explanations as i'm acutely aware that we artistic types tend to get rather introspective and to be honest, boring when we try to analyze ourselves. So i'll forgive you if you lose interest and find something better to read.

Christmas time was such a mixture of emotions and practical problems for me. One good thing to come out of that time was the completion of  a commission to produce a book cover ( more information at a later date!). But the biggest influence on my time and feelings was the death of my friend Geoff...I mentioned it inn a previous post. The funeral and various gatherings to remember him amongst friends were often happy/sad times....and believe me, there were many.

To add to this, Jan my wife was away working in Singapore..this was the week before Christmas and during the time when the UK experienced an unprecedented amount of snow and ice with temperatures in some parts of the country dipping to minus 24 degrees. Heathrow airport was frozen and flights delayed and cancelled. Would Jan make it back for Christmas? It was touch and go at one point but she eventually made it back the day before Christmas Eve. The arrangements for Christmas were not only touched by the sadness of my friends death, but it was only year ago that Jan's mum had also died. It's not until family based events like Christmas that the absence of a loved one bites deepest. We also shared the sadness a very close friend felt facing her first Christmas with out her father.

I think basically my emotions were all over the place...my thinking was affected and I felt depressed. making artwork seemed the last thing I wanted to do...the more i looked upon what I had already created, the more it took on an air of irrelevance and self indulgent trivia. Long time readers of this blog will know that I often go through periods of self doubt and depression...and usually I pull through in the end.Well good news folks...I'm pulling through. Disillusioned and feeling rather empty I'm back with the pen in my hand and all being well...I'll get this piece finished.

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Hello...i'm back!.

Still working.

Work continues on my commercial project which is nearing it's completion. this is good because I'm ill..my daughter has been off school all week with the same illness...which is actually a very heavy cold/cough virus which was very kindly brought into my house at the weekend by a very well meaning but clueless friend. It's been an awful week and promises to be an awful weekend...not enjoying life at the moment. Will recover my usual bounce eventually.

Explanation

I feel I must explain my absence of posting material here over the weekend. you see a very dear old friend of mine died on Friday after a short battle against cancer. Someone who I valued highly. three years younger than I, it was a sobering experience to see such a strong, vibrant and active man cut down so cruelly. A hugely popular and well loved man, Geoff will be greatly missed.

today I have begun work on the commercial project I mentioned a while ago.I'm not able to show you whit is I'm doing, but I will eventually. Depending on the time it takes this week, I'll post more and let you know how it's going.

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Along with almost every one i know...I have a cold..I feel lousy. ...and temperatures here have not risen above freezing all week.It's cold. I'm pushing on with the trees here, but I seriously need to set to work on a commercial project that is looming. It won't take long relatively, but needs my attention. Hopefully I can run it and this project side by side...work on one in the morning and the other in the afternoon?

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More tree..more thigh...

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Not much done today...Jan is away for yet another weekend...so I'm in charge. But I managed a little while on white Ladies.started on middle Tennis girl's thighs....(I'm enjoying my work at present!). Incidentally, if you'd like to see yourself featured in a piece of artwork like this..I'm only too happy to bring you into my world. If you'd like to see a piece featuring an online friend...please feel free to see my picture called 'Spirit ' which features the incredibly talented and gorgeous Julie Schuler. I'm happy to produce a piece to your own specification and fantasy...dare you?...I'm waiting for your ideas!

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 Temperatures hit amazing lows here overnight. The lowest temperatures were in Braemar Scotland which was -20. Here in Derby we basked in relative tropical temps of -9 ! But I love it...I like the cold and the snow which puts me at odds with the majority of my friends. So wrapped up snug and warm, I spent the better part of my working day on the trees.

Below are two photographs I took this morning. I got up around 6:45am and looked out of my window to see the Moon and Venus blazing away in a crystal clear sky...I took quite a few pictures because my camera has only a small aperture lens and therefore the exposure is relatively lengthy...most of the pics were blurred, but these two looked OK. There was probably only 15 - 20 mins between the two photographs.

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More work on the trees..the snow continued to fall today with record subzero temperatures expected here over night.

Below, bumble the tailess kitten is now 10 weeks old!

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 Work continues on the trees..they need only to be in silhouette. The upward angle in direction of the branches and the low view point complements the lifting skirts and hopefully gives the overall atmosphere a more cheerful and happy 'feeling '  ..it is a celebration!.

we've had yet more snow overnight here in the UK...Below is the sight greeting me this morning from one of my kitchen windows.I love it when snow has accumulated on top of the most unlikely things giving the impression I live in a world of giant cauliflowers!

Annie's school was closed due to the weather conditions so I walked her round to her friend's house. I snapped this photograph of this gracefully towering tree.