I wanted to write a little about what it's like to finish an exhibition at an Arts Festival...a unique experience quite different from a solo exhibition. Some people spend all their time going to events like this..some people find the camaraderie and group atmosphere wonderful.I can see why.The practise and profession of an artist is on the whole a solitary one....at least it is for me. everything that I produce is the result of long hours alone living within an often imaginary world filled with concepts and dreams.Not very healthy I hear you thinking...well that may be so.It might be the case I'm going crazy and managing to maintain a veneer of normality and respectability...it might be the case that confronting the contents of my thoughts is actually a good thing...I don't bury them deep within a padded brain cell...I deal with them.The truth is that the end of an exhibition is a time to be subjective...not good.Thoughts arise that tell you it was a waste of time.If it was for artistic purposes, then all I did was answer the same old questions to a continual line of people who ask "How long does a picture take?"...."Do you ever see dots before your eyes?"...."What gave you the idea to use dots?"...."Do you ever suffer from repetitive strain injury?"...My friend Michael suggested I set up an animatronic version of myself to answer these questions. However, if it was for financial reasons I exhibit...that too would be a waste of time.I managed to cover my costs..and that was all...I'm never going to rid myself of the gnawing possibility that no matter what the depth of talent I have,I'm still going to have to pay the mortgage....That's why I'm off to do role play at 7:30 in the morning...because no matter how cuttingly 'now' or relevant I make my artwork...I'm never going earn more money than when I sit in a CCTV covered room and pretend I have a bad neck.
I told you it would be subjective...(and I've not drunk any alcohol to write this!)...I just feel that life would be so much better with a safe 'nine to five' job...perhaps my relationship with my wife would be good...I'd be a better father and a more dependable friend.....perhaps perhaps perhaps.Some one was looking at my one of my pictures..her partner said "He looks like John Culshaw"...she said "I think he looks like Russel Crowe"...I looked up and said "It's a self portrait....of me"...I thought just for a split second that it was the nicest thing I'd heard all day...
Oh...I was tired of people looking at me painting in water colours and asking "Is this how you do all your paintings?" that I decided to spend the day dotting a new 'Minipix' (see above).Meanwhile...the effort I went to make 10 water colours......they all remain unsold and unconsidered....you know, I think I'm just a curiosity...'The Dot Man'....
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6 comments:
Aww Niall..I think you manage to strike the perfect balance--between dots and water colors, between Art and life, between Cushaw and Crowe.
I do admire your perseverance, patience and discipline.
Wish i had more of it!
Want to skype--will catch u online sometime or will call.
Cheers
preeti
within an often imaginary world filled with concepts and dreams.Not very healthy I hear you thinkingNo, you said that, not me. It's obviously not how most people live but I think it's necessary for the good of the World that some people are not simply concerned with everything material and superficial. Can you imagine how boring it must be for them to have no fantasy at all in their lives? Yes, dreams and being in the underworld can be burdening, but it's a way of life and someone has to do it.
I understand the frustration of this public contact. People are basically insensitive to other people's work. No wonder, really, if you go to any chinese store you get everything in the world for under a pound, so...what's the point of making such an effort? No, those individuals won't get it and to themyou might be the dotman...
Preeti/DM...You are both number amongst my greatest encouragers...I am very much in your debt...
I like so very much your trees, Niall. All of them that I saw down the page.
:)
When I visit UK (either this July or next summer), I would love to see your work "in flesh".
I really admire not just your paintings, but even the way you manage to guide us through the entire process and blog about it every single day!
I cannot do a single thing in my life with the dedication you have :(
when in doubt, just do it again.. :)...dont give up ...u r an artist first...thats ur calling...take it from a guy who chose a 9-5 job over his dream...theres a name for people like me...i think its called cowards..
i wud like to buy a painting of urs...i will do so from ur site if u can get that buying thingy to work :)
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