Monday, October 09, 2006


As you can see, I've managed to complete the left side of the picture..The hard part is to come with the woman on the right..Her blouse is going to be difficult..But I love a challenge. The end is in sight.

As I sit here tonight my eyes are stinging with sleeplessness. (I didn't sleep last night)..I have so much on my mind and resentments I have no right to hold on to. I got up and tried sleeping downstairs on the settee, but curled up (it's only a two seater) I was unable to relax so after trying for an hour or so, I went back up to bed. Jan mumbled and I sighed. She went on sleeping, I went on not sleeping.

I guess I must have fallen asleep somewhere around 5:00 am..But my alarm called at 7:00am..Time to get up and do the lunches for Sam and Annie to take to school. With Jan in the dining room ironing uniform bits, I plonked tuna onto wholemeal, the sound of 'Zak and Cody' emanated from the front room. This is the scene every morning during school time in the Young household.

You know..I can be assembling a tuna/Mayo whilst looking out of the kitchen window to where I imagine I'm upon a windswept cliff. I have wings and leap into the full face of the wind. I soar over grey mountainous waves heaving up into the daylight, an Albatross circles , it's plaintive call lost in the tumult. As I glide, a thousand outstretched arms pierce the surface of the sea and catch hold of me, pulling me down into the depths.. As the final gasps of breath escape my plankton filled lungs, Sam shouts from his room "I haven't got any boxers to wear!"

This morning, Jan needed to pick her friend Andrea up at 9 o'clock to go and see a play in Nottingham (Pinter at 10:00am?!)..So she dropped me with Annie at school..I took Annie in, looked at the pastel drawings of fireworks the class had done, then set off for home. I walked back through the park that rises up to reveal a vast horizon filled with Derby (to those who don't know what it looks like..It's basically a forest of giant cranes at present) ( I'll post a picture sometime) . The main road was bumper to bumper with traffic late for work. I over took the cars and felt grateful for my legs, but my heart was crying and I felt lonely.

Once home, I found my picture welcomed me into it's swirl of colour. ..............This is my life.