Saturday, October 14, 2006

Here is the muse.

A lot of people ask me how I decide what to draw next, how do I come up with the ideas. Today I thought I'd share with you the process I'm going through, the feelings and inspiration that lead to a finished piece somewhere down the line.

Having taken a group of photos at the Arboretum on Thursday, I have lots of source material to work with. This morning I got up feeling quite happy as I looked at the St Peter's Street Angel lying finished on my desk. The only commitment this morning was to give Jan a lift with Annie to her dance lesson. I decided to park in town and go to the cash machine, get some money and visit the charity bookshops..(I love doing this)..I'd also seen a calendar (very cheap) featuring Charlotte Church..I thought I'd buy this (I think she's wonderful you'll be shocked to hear me say).

Getting into the car I was planning to ask Jan for a pound so I could use the pay and display..However before I could ask, she started telling me how overdrawn we had become. She is expecting a cheque for her role play stuff soon and told me that it would cover what we'd already spent. I felt a bit defeated as I got into the car and Jan asked me what was wrong. I decided not to elaborate.

I dropped them off and returned home..Instead of time spent with a paper etc..I got to work editing my photos. Came up with 9 pretty good samples that might make good drawings. I know this sounds all very like MR and MRS Bucket in 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' but I've grown use to not having money to spend (I refuse to use a credit card,I don't like owing people money,)..It makes me feel angry not to be able to do the things I want to, but that is life. I am able sometimes (like now) to channel it into my work. The thought that soon I'll not have to be concerned with 'me' but only the form and colour that I lay down on the page. There is a point in all my work when a special something happens. I can be drawing anything, but when that 'spark of magic' ignites, I am off on voyage. Sometimes is as if the picture reveals itself as I scratch away the whiteness of the paper, other times I sweat every last dot out of my soul it seems. To be lost in all that is the most wonderful thing, I honestly feel part of something greater than the normal. I am working in and towards my destiny.

Sadly it's all a rather selfish existence..I get moody and depressed. I feel fat and tired. I dream of driving an E-Type Jag, of having enough room to spread my work out. I'm not very nice to live with. I try my best to be what I should be. I find myself having bigger and bigger ideas for work, but in reality to be successful, I have to make my work smaller and smaller.

It's this discontent and the moment the 'magic spark' ignites that drives me to work. The need to create is something you'll have to realize is for me overwhelming. I would rather die than not be able to do this!

So...What am I waiting for?...I shall go and make a start. Once I've made my mind up as to the first piece..I'll take a photo and keep you up to date with it on a daily basis. Tell your friends and remember to keep coming back!

In the meantime. Why not have a look at my evolving website. It's not finished yet, but James is doing a great job.


Tim Young said...

Dont' Loose the Magic Spark Niall there are people who believe in you and will support you to become what you want to become. Give your more darker moments over to God, he alone knows about dark moments and dispare.
So please look up and trust.
I repeat myself there are a lot of us out there who believe in what you are trying to do