Bench 3

Spent over 5 hours on the picture today. I find I now have lots of time to play with because Jan has gone off to stay with Chrissie and David in Wales taking Annie and Will with her. I had wanted to go and was willing to run the pain of travelling in a car with arguing children (I suffer from Tinnitus ) which I find difficult. I just wanted to be with my family. Jan told me that I probably wouldn't enjoy being there and would do better to stay at home. Sam then said he didn't want to go either..so that decided it..I would have to stay home.

Tonight I feel lost and hurt by it all. I don't resent spending time with Sam..he's a lovely lad and is a joy to be with. This evening we sat eating our way through a ridiculously large plate of fish and chips ..(Father and son bonding excercise!). this at least has been good! Burp!