The period just before I embark on an exhibition is becoming one of increased anxiety. Having only really done them for just over a year, I've come to realise that it is a time of intense emotion for me coupled with long hours sitting in a gallery answering the same questions and trying to make each answer sound fresh. It is this that makes the time draining and exciting in one breath.I love the debate that sometimes ensues as to what art is and why some people site my work as 'proper art' because it's figurative as opposed to abstract.All things I've talked about here before.
It is partly due to this anxiety that i have not written for a few days.I find it almost crippling to contemplate my track record in such instances which tells me I'll make a loss. This alongside the notion that this is my destiny and nothing will ever satisfy the need in me to create above this that I do.
Today i am almost numb to the prospect. Having been traumatised to almost total rejection of my calling, I can only try to consider each moment as it comes..fix my sight upon the job in hand and remember those of you who have given me so much encouragement. It's almost as if I'm not doing it purely for myself but for you too.
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3 comments:
I hope you are making it for yourself, for those around you and for us that have supported you. And I know you'll enjoy the challenge, even if it brings you anxiety - if it didn't, it wouldn't really be significant, would it?
Be strong! And we're here to support you. The picture is looking great!
It means an awful lot to hear your encouragement! Along with others it's this that keeps my mind set!
I have said it before and no doupt I'll say it again. The calling as you say is a gift from above, you need to give Him your anxiety, let God be God if you strive in your own strength you will only please yourself. But if you give in to Gods will, let him have his way then you are in safe hands. God can take care of your soul as well as providing for your body. He is the answer, he is the solution. Trust Him.
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